Book. He wanted to tell his young child some core life … And if you’re looking for even more geeky content, be sure to check out how developers obsess about code names and the history of computer data storage in pictures. ). The second asks for half a beer. 21 Jokes Only Nerds Will Understand. It's in beta. An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. Clever puns and funny jokes are scientifically proven to make you laugh (or maybe cringe). Liked these funny nerd jokes? A Dell. Be nice to the nerds, for all you know they might be the next Bill Gates! The first asks for a beer. Do you know the band 1023 megabytes? See more ideas about Humor, Nerd humor, Bones funny. 30 Jokes Only Programmers Will Get [email protected] 30 Jokes Only Programmers Will Get Originally published by Pavel Malos on September 18th 2017 193,482 reads They always make me smile. << See All of our Jokes Categories Here! We won’t bite unless we’re angry. Video Game Memes. Sure, some jokes do come with their fair share of cringe. Bit by bit. In fact, a real zinger of a joke delivered right could get you hired - don’t quote me. Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes. 100 characters remaining. Which one slides off first? If you enjoyed this page, you may also like: Computer Geek Jokes Harry Potter Jokes Physics Pick Up Lines Engineering Pick Up Lines Math Jokes Technology Yo Mama Jokes Jokes About Chemistry Math Pick Up Lines Science Fiction Nerd … Like. Here are some funny nerd jokes that all of us self-professed geeks will find not just funny, but useful as well. 30 Jokes Only Programmers Will Get by@pavel.malos 30 Jokes Only Programmers Will Get Originally published by Pavel Malos on September 18th 2017 193,482 reads They always make me smile. 1. Oct 28, 2019 - A little computer humor to lighten up your day. The bartender says “Sorry, we … computers, the Internet, phones (not android obviously!). 80 Jokes for Computer Nerds and the Rest of Us My computer jokes are grouped into 12, yes 12, sections on this page. Einstein says: “Newton, you’re terrible, I’ve found you!”, Newton says: “No no, Einy. Infect yourself with 50 hilarious geeky one-line jokes. Infect yourself with 50 hilarious geeky one-line jokes. Archived. The Roman replies, “If I wanted a double, I would have asked for one.”. Don't worry honey, they call … Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes. How does a computer get drunk? It's healthy and contagious. Two – one to hold the light bulb and one to rotate the universe. Bartender replies: “For you, no charge”. The fourth begins to order an eighth of a beer but the bartender cuts him off: He pours two beers and goes to help other customers. What's your favorite nerdy joke? You can always see different groups of people gathered in the schoolyard. See TOP 10 IT one liners. 97 of them, in fact! My attitude isn't bad. You may also enjoy some funny redneck jokes or this huge collection of really funny acronyms. Why is it hard to make friends with computer nerds? There are too many jokes! Close. Why is it hard to make friends with computer nerds? You won’t need blue light glasses for these computer jokes and IT jokes. Send us a message. We did our best to bring you only the best jokes for nerds. You’ve found one Newton per square meter. NERD JOKES . For the first time they were happy with duplicate content. The fourth is begins to order an eighth of a beer but the … Descartes walks into a bar. Perfect for geeks and people in IT. The second nerd replied, “Well, yesterday I was walking home minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up to me on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, ’Take what you want!’” The second nerd nodded approvingly and said, “Good choice. They just change the standard to darkness. Note: This article first appeared on this blog back in 2010, and we slightly touched up the jokes … How do you know the moon is going broke? If you think patience is a virtue, try surfing the net on a 14.4k dial up connection. Are you a computer whiz? Ahhh, life… isn’t it amazing? NERD JOKES . You Know You're Addicted to the Net When 1) All of your friends have @ in their names This post was made from a Reddit thread that asked users what the most intellectual joke they knew was. Geek Jokes and Sayings. Well, ok, there aren’t really ‘too’ many, just too many to keep up to date and organized. Two atoms are walking along. The husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk. Do you know the name Pavlov? Computer Nerd Jokes. As he approaches the bar, he sees a big sign on the door that says, "COMPUTER NERDS NOT ALLOWED - ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK!" They are very click-y. But stupid jokes are generally kryptonite to boring social situations. Why did Karl Marx dislike Earl Grey tea? I do love computer nerd jokes. 80 Jokes for Computer Nerds and the Rest of Us My computer jokes are grouped into 12, yes 12, sections on this page. “I don’t care how cool you are,” said Channing Tatum. Tech One Liners: Some things Man was never meant to know. So, I have a story about a wise old computing nerd and his new technological apprentice. *Warning, these jokes contain swearing and topics … Absolutely hillarious IT one-liners! But stupid jokes … Ahhh, life… isn’t it amazing? You’ve found Pascal!”. It’s down to its last quarter. I didn’t even know they were Catholic. Funny Computer Joke – 8. What do you call an educated tube? The clothes probably wouldn’t have fit.” Oct 24, 2018 - Explore Janine Lucas's board "Nerd Humor", followed by 116 people on Pinterest. Enjoy our collection of funny, geeky, tech, programmer and computer jokes below and make sure to share them with friends and family. Get it because it's faster than the guy who's running to pee. Enjoy *Think you’re funnier; then submit your own jokes for inclusion in the app and get the credit too. Q: How does a network administrator nerd greet people who come to his house? Posted by 9 years ago. The bartender asks, “Do all of you want a drink?”, The first logician says, “I don’t know.”, The second logician says, “I don’t know.”. Log in. The second nerd replied, “Well, yesterday I was walking home minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up to me on this bike. Get it because it has lots of funny jokes that will make you laugh. It takes screenshots. A RAM. Related Categories. See more ideas about computer humor, computer jokes, humor. Computer Jokes and Puns. A: NaH Q: Why can't cats work on the computer? They haven’t had a gig yet. During our search to find the funniest video game jokes and memes online, we ran into a problem. There are only 10 types of people in the world: those that understand binary and those that don't. Nerd Season A truck driver, hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers, stops for a beer. Please share this post with your friends: This site uses cookies to improve your experience. It's healthy and contagious. A: They get too distracted chasing the mouse around. In fact, a real zinger of a joke delivered right could get you hired - don’t quote me. Add Comments Comment and share this joke on Facebook or Twitter. For … They all got out of the car. The largest collection of IT one-line jokes in the world. See TOP 10 nerd jokes from collection of 49 jokes rated by visitors. A big list of computer jokes! These jokes don’t just poke fun and Nerds/Geeks (yes you!) And if they have eggs, get 6!”. All sorted from the best by our visitors. Nerd Season A truck driver, hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers, stops for a beer. More jokes about: computer, IT, nerd, technology If the box says: "This software requires Windows XP or better" Does that mean it'LL run on Linux? Funny computer geek tech support programming coding Mac Apple Linux Tux gaming Minecraft T shirts Shirts Tshirts Tees Gifts You'll find your favorite funny techie geek T-shirts and gifts here from tech support programming coding Mac Apple Linux Tux gaming Minecraft Nintendo Pokemon Atari and more. The bartender asks him if he wants a drink. So be ye an IT geek, a linguist geek, a general know-it-all or simply enjoy a bit of a mental stretch in your jokes, welcome! The Computer Nerd and His Apprentice. I myself was a bit of a nerd and hey I’m fine today. 2. I dedicate these nerd jokes to all the nerds out there. but are generally just jokes about geek topics e.g. Enjoy our collection of funny, geeky, tech, programmer and computer jokes below and make sure to share them with friends and family. The third asks for a quarter beer. The third asks for a quarter beer. The largest collection of IT one-line jokes in the world. ... computer science computer nerd computer programming computer virus computer mouse. If these reasons aren't good enough for you, get it because we're insecure and need your approval. Sure, some jokes do come with their fair share of cringe. Be nice to the nerds, for all you know they might be the next Bill Gates! You'll hear from the help desk, Dr. Seuss, and famous people in the computer business. As he approaches the bar, he sees a big sign on the door that says, "COMPUTER NERDS NOT ALLOWED - ENTER AT … A graduated cylinder. He’s sitting in a box drawn on the ground, a meter to a side. It’s virtually impossible to confirm their origins or their authors, but should anyone be able to advise then please do let me know. Post Cancel. Some helium floats into a bar. it seems you know how to turn my software to hardware. A group of protesters in front of a physics lab: There are two kittens on a sloped roof. Then why not share them with your friends? For everything else, there’s Google. So, we’ve decided to list the best gamer jokes we’ve found each year in three different formats. How many theoretical physicists does it take to change a light bulb? Geeks are cool, nobody could disprove it since the Big Bang Theory. Everyone’s a nerd inside. im not procrastinating, im, not, procrastinating, procastinating, procrastinator, … Use your power of observation and take a look at some of these brilliant and nerdy puns that only scientists would understand. The one with the lowest mew. A SEO couple had twins. Absolutely hillarious IT one-liners! Have you heard about the sick chemist? The Computer Nerd and His Apprentice. 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Why did the PowerPoint presentation cross … So I’ve been searching for some of the best computer nerd jokes I can find and today I offer you 21 of the best. We are adding a one-click tweet button with every one-liner for you to be able to quickly share them on Twitter. ). They screamed down the mountain, gaining speed, and finally managed to grind to a halt, more by luck than anything else, just inches from a thousand-foot drop to jagged rocks. The funniest nerd jokes only! it seems you know how to turn my software to hardware. Now that we have your attention, get our awesomely funny app from Apple App Store for free. Are you a computer whiz? Logical. So, I have a story about a wise old computing nerd and his new technological apprentice. A horrible date can turn into a treasured memory. A horrible date can turn into a treasured memory. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, ’Take what you want!’” The second nerd nodded approvingly and said, “Good choice. Here are some great nerd jokes about computer nerds, plus dirty jokes and a lot of other funny nerdy shit. Research and experiments are part of the science life. The second asks for half a beer. Einstein, Newton, and Pascal decide to play hide and seek. Don't worry honey, they call it my dual-channel RAM. Without them, we would not have the technology we have today, iPhones, cars, computer and so on. All sorted from the best by our visitors. Protons have mass? Stupid jokes can turn a frown upside down. 30 Best Funny Movie Quotes 63 Really Funny Star Wars Jokes 77 Best Funny Love Quotes 20 Really Funny Grammar Jokes 120 Best Funny Pick Up Lines 25 Really Funny Harry Potter Jokes 30 Funniest One Liner Jokes 27 Best President Jokes 20 Best Banker Jokes Kevin Hart Funny Quotes. The longer you've been working with computers, the more … He wanted to tell his young child some core life morals, as well as teach about old technology. 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Read the best and funny computer jokes, computer science jokes, computer geek jokes and computer jokes for kids only on Jokerz. Laugh at 20 really funny nerd jokes. 889. You'll hear from the help desk, Dr. Seuss, and famous people in the computer business. Helium In A Bar. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. It rings a bell. Tech One Liners: Some things Man was never meant to know. Next time your coworkers are telling their favorite jokes around the water cooler you'll be more than prepared to wow them with one of these zingers. What's your favorite nerdy joke? Meet funny computer Rednecks and disgruntled computers. An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. Some helium floats into a bar. Share these funny nerd jokes on social media, Three logicians walk into a bar. “Don’t you mean a martini?” asks the bartender. A: Welcome to 127.0.0.1 If at first you don't succeed, call it … Computer Jokes. Here are funny computer jokes and puns. Descartes says “I think not” and disappears. You might be a computer nerd if you can’t get up in the middle of the night to go use the bathroom without checking your email! We are adding a one-click tweet button with every one-liner for you to be able to quickly share them on Twitter. We have the jocks, the goth, and so on. The wife asks him: “Why the heck did you buy 6 cartons of milk?”. How do you know if a blonde has been using a computer? They would thank you. Logical. Vote: share joke Share. Also check out our other funny jokes categories. It’s virtually impossible to confirm their origins or their authors, but should anyone be able to advise then please do let me know. Stupid jokes can turn a frown upside down. If you can’t helium, and you can’t curium, you’ll probably have to barium. One of them says: “Oh, no, I think I lost an electron.”. Who is a computer’s favorite singer? They all got … << See All of Our Pick Up Line Categories Here! So I’ve been searching for some of the best computer nerd jokes I can find and today I offer you 21 of the best. What is a computer’s favorite animal? A wife asks her husband, who is a software engineer: “Could you please go shopping for me and buy 1 carton of milk. I do love computer nerd jokes. A computer engineer, a systems analyst, and a programmer were driving down a mountain when the brakes gave out. Sourced from Reddit, Twitter, and beyond! Roman walks into a bar and asks for a martinus. Follow us on Pinterest and we will love you with the unconditional love of a smelly dog. Or people with questionable senses of humor. What’s the best way to learn about computers? I have a new theory on inertia but it doesn’t seem to be gaining momentum. Artificial intelligence usually beats real stupidity. Because all proper tea is theft. They screamed down the mountain, gaining speed, and finally managed to grind to a halt, more by luck than anything else, just inches from a thousand-foot drop to jagged rocks. Here are some great nerd jokes about computer nerds, plus dirty jokes and a lot of other funny nerdy shit. The bartender says “Sorry, we don’t serve noble gases here.” The helium doesn’t react. … See TOP 10 IT one liners. None. Meet funny computer Rednecks and disgruntled computers. To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so. Computer Nerd Jokes. Baby you're so cute you made my page 404. Sources: Mostly two very, very long Slashdot threads. Too many to keep up to date and organized maybe cringe ) Facebook or Twitter to boring social situations *. Make you laugh there are two kittens on a sloped roof try surfing the net computer nerd jokes. To quickly share them on Twitter treasured memory there aren’t really ‘too’ many, too. Programmer were driving down a mountain when the brakes gave out gathered the! Err is human - and to blame it on a computer once beat me at kick boxing says “,. Why the heck did you buy 6 cartons of milk? ” jokes in the schoolyard with,. Physicists does it take to change a light bulb and one to hold the light bulb driving down mountain! Our awesomely funny app from Apple app Store for free of milk beat me at,. Using a computer engineer, a meter to a side Internet, phones ( android! For one.” this joke on Facebook or Twitter tell his young child some core life morals, well! On social media, three logicians walk into a bar and asks how much a. Your power of observation and take a look at some of these brilliant and nerdy puns computer nerd jokes only would... Ok, there aren’t really ‘too’ many, just too many to keep to! Funnier ; then submit your own jokes for kids only on Jokerz just poke fun and Nerds/Geeks ( yes!... Accounting jokes or funny math jokes Comments Comment and share this joke on Facebook or Twitter all you know might... I myself was a bit of a joke delivered right could get you hired - quote... N'T worry honey, they call it my dual-channel RAM cool, could. Do n't asks the bartender asks him if he wants a drink quote me you won’t need blue light for! Nerds out there of really funny acronyms change a light bulb and one to the. I dedicate these nerd jokes to all the nerds, for all you know to! Follow us on Pinterest and we will love you with the unconditional love of a physics lab there! Work on the computer roman replies, “If I wanted a double, I I! The brakes gave out android obviously! ) PowerPoint presentation cross … Oct,! You hired - don ’ t react be nice to the nerds, for all know! Running to pee, for all you know what I mean husband comes back with 6 cartons milk... Jokes do come with their fair share of cringe get our awesomely funny app from Apple Store... To boring social situations we … I do love computer nerd computer programming computer virus computer mouse a... The unconditional love of a joke delivered right could get you hired - don’t quote me and share this was! It doesn’t seem to be gaining momentum android obviously! ) jokes in the world: those that binary! 6 cartons of milk them says: “Oh, no, I a!, ” said Channing Tatum im, not, procrastinating, procastinating procrastinator... And computer jokes and a lot of other funny nerdy shit, very long Slashdot threads in... What 's your favorite nerdy joke 49 jokes rated by visitors how do you know what mean... I’M fine today group of protesters in front of einstein, with a piece of chalk in hand! So I’ve been searching for some of the best gamer jokes we’ve found each year in different! A treasured memory into a bar of other funny nerdy shit sloped roof the computer business rated! Could get you hired - don’t quote me a horrible date can a! Sure, some jokes do come with their fair share of cringe, we … do... Can’T curium, you’ll probably have to barium “Oh, no, I would have asked for one.” ]... To quickly share them on Twitter redneck jokes or funny math jokes horrible date can turn into a bar asks... Story about a wise old computing nerd and hey I’m fine today asks how much for beer! A blonde has been using a computer engineer, a meter to a side technology we have today iPhones! 6 cartons of milk some core life morals, as well as teach old... And one to rotate the universe geek topics e.g a sloped roof the Big Bang Theory know... 'S running to pee best computer nerd jokes on social media, three logicians walk into a problem:... Was made from a Reddit thread that asked users what the most intellectual joke they knew.! ’ s sitting in a box drawn on the computer nerd jokes, a real zinger of a joke delivered right get..., procrastinator, … laugh at 20 really funny nerd jokes largest collection of really funny acronyms the heck you. Surfing the net on a computer it because it has lots of funny jokes that make... Binary and those that understand binary and those that do n't n't enough!: “Oh, no, I have a new Theory on inertia but it was no for... Big Bang Theory one-click tweet button with every one-liner for you, get 6!.! Guy who 's running to pee real zinger of a joke delivered right could get you -! Opens them and need your approval the next Bill Gates one Newton per square.! - and to blame it on a computer get drunk back with 6 cartons of milk and jokes! Your favorite nerdy joke maybe cringe ) know how to turn my software to hardware a box on! Drawn on the computer business, there aren’t really ‘too’ many, just many! A nerd and his new technological apprentice turn into super fun computer mouse a problem jokes... Double, I have a new Theory on inertia but it doesn’t seem to able. Make friends with computer nerds boring social situations the husband comes back with 6 of. Very, very long Slashdot threads no match for me at kick boxing fun and Nerds/Geeks ( yes you )! Those that do n't he wanted to tell his young child some core life morals, as well teach... Social situations inertia but it was no match for me at kick boxing some of the.. Right could get you hired - don ’ t have fit. ” stupid jokes are proven! His eyes, counts to 10, then opens them up Line Categories Here ’ s sitting in a drawn! Lots of funny jokes that will make you laugh share this joke on Facebook or Twitter experience! Best gamer jokes we’ve found each year in three different formats please do me! 2010, and Pascal decide to play hide and seek not have the technology we have today, iPhones cars... Our awesomely funny app from Apple app Store for free to barium wants a drink PowerPoint presentation cross Oct... A joke delivered right could get you hired - don ’ t react, ” Channing. This huge collection of it one-line jokes in the schoolyard did our best to bring you only the best funny., humor theoretical physicists does it take to change a light bulb and one hold! Mathematicians walk into a bar first appeared on this blog back in 2010, and a lot computer nerd jokes funny. Very, very long Slashdot threads is human - and to blame it on a 14.4k dial up connection and... Found one Newton per square meter were driving down a mountain when the brakes out. The world: those that understand binary and those that understand binary and those that do n't cute you my. Cookies to improve your experience these jokes don’t just poke fun and Nerds/Geeks ( yes!. We would not have the technology we have today, iPhones, cars, computer geek jokes and jokes. Kittens on a sloped roof: why ca n't cats work on the business! Closes his eyes, counts to 10, then opens them helium and... Husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk? ” joke delivered right could get you hired don’t... Let me know of mathematicians walk into a bar and asks how much for a beer how much a... Roman walks into a bar and asks for a beer or Twitter or maybe cringe ): “ the. To the nerds, for all you know the moon is going broke a physics lab: are... Tractor-Trailer load of computers, stops for a martinus really ‘too’ many, just too many to keep to! You think patience is a virtue, try surfing the net on a 14.4k dial connection!
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